The Ham and Egger Files: Report from the 2013 World £2 Tat Challenge in Hastings

Rookie Player Wins World Title on his Debut in Hastings!

As has become tradition, following the first day’s play of the World Crazy Golf Championships an open-call went out to all of the players to participate in the World £2 Tat Challenge.

For the second year in a row a total of 30-players heeded the call and headed over to the hallowed venue that is what Wembley is to football, Twickenham is to Rugby Union, The Crucible is to Snooker (and indeed what Hastings Seafront is to Crazy Golf) – the Old Town Amusement Arcade!

The winner and losers from the 2013 World £2 Tat Challenge

With players changing their £2 stake into 2 penny pence pieces the rules briefing was given by Messrs Lancley and Gottfried before the call to arms was given.

2013 also saw the Buttons Committee make a radical change to the rules – with a 20-minute time-limit imposed! This meant that the play would be even more fast paced than usual and that bit more risky for the more canny ratty competitors who will often wait until their opponents are out of tuppenny bits to make their move and clean-up.

Scott 'Donkey Gringo' Lancley enforcing the rules

The frenetic competition took some of the newcomers by surprise and with some of the veterans sticking to tried and tested methods that weren’t quite right for the new format the results were very interesting indeed.

With time ticking down the players entered their scores with official referee Emily ‘Lemony’ Gottfried to record for the ages.

Taking an early tie in the clubhouse was the reigning and defending champion ‘Squire’ Richard Gottfried on five bits, with the lead shared by debutees Chris Hillman and Helen Dodd, along with Tat Veteran Trevor Exall and second time competitor Chris Wood.

Fast-paced action from the ratters, tatters and sharks - Steve Sturdy looks particularly confused/angry at being robbed of a prize by the looks of it!

Former World Tat Challenge Champions Paul ‘Johnson Paul Johnson’ Johnson then scored seven pieces to scoop the lead.

This group was soon trumped by William Edwards who amassed a total of eight pieces. With a few players left to declare at the end of the twenty-minute contest the contestants awaited the result. Sly old fox Terry ‘Cockney Tel’ Exall approached the ref with quite a haul, but 2013 was not to be his year, as he had managed to score an impressive, but not quite good enough unlucky seven pieces of tat to tie for second place.

Lemony and Donkey Gringo count up the final rankings

That meant that the new and undisputed 2013 World £2 Tat Challenge Champion was William ‘Insert Nickname’ Edwards who was elated to be crowned champion, receive the entire bag of goodies and the respect of his fellow competitors.

The 2013 World £2 Tat Challenge Champion - William 'Sideshow Bob' Edwards

Over the weekend William scored a remarkably unique Grand Slam of victories – winning the World Title in the Tat Challenge and finishing last of all the competitors (that managed to finish the six qualifying rounds) in the World Crazy Golf Championships!

While a grand total of 91 pieces of tat was won by the 30 players, there were two-player who ‘did a Chappers-Smith’ and drew a blank – these were Christian ‘Anthony Pope’ Fuchs and Steve ‘Teen Wolf’ Lovell who remarked he “should of put his mask and wolf hands in the prize pot.”

Top international player was Finland’s Pasi ‘Bruiser’ Aho from Germany who scored three, just edging out Spain’s Núria Meléndez Orriols who recorded two. ‘The Fox’ Christian Fuchs got the international ‘bronze’ after scoring nil.

Rank Player Country Tat Won

1 William Edwards ENG 8

2 Paul Johnson ENG 7

2 Terry Exall ENG 7

4 Richard Gottfried ENG 5

4 Trevor Exall ENG 5

4 Chris Wood ENG 5

4 Chris Hillman ENG 5

4 Helen Dodd ENG 5

9 Adam Kelly ENG 4

9 Keith Kellard ENG 4

11 Pasi Aho FIN 3